Have you ever had a day when everything is so perfect, it seems that it can't be just left to chance? A day when Heaven seems to be in the very sunlight that encircles you? When God is in the wind that brushes it's cool touch across your cheeks? When the beauty of angels is in your child's smile?
I never have... until the other day. I woke up feeling light. I felt happy to be here... on the earth at this time, in this peaceful part of the world. I felt hopeful as I saw the sunlight streaming in through the blinds, touching Alexis' hair and making it seem as if it were gold. As I lay there letting that feeling sink in, I heard Lily singing as she got herself dressed for the day. And I thought, "how can I be this blessed?" Of course nothing in our life is perfect. Oh, we try our best, but something always is too messy, too loud, too full of pride, too fearful... But this day, from beginning to end, was perfect. I am not embellishing... I am not bragging. I am writing it down so that, in a couple of days when the house is a mess again and our lives are crazy, I can remember how it all felt. I am telling you, it was awesome! Instead of the planned activities, we scrapped everything and did what we wanted. We dressed in shorts and t-shirts without looking at the weather forecast, because we just knew it would be beautiful outside... and it was. We walked (Lily rode her bike and Lexi was in the wagon, so I guess I was the only one who really walked) to the "far away" park. We played there all morning, picking bouquets of dandilions, playing in the rocks, chasing each other on the jungle gym, and soaking up the sun. We talked with strangers - feeling as though we had been friends for years. Lily met her first golden lab and fell fast in love. We smiled and others smiled back. Then we made the long trek home and Lily rode her bike up some pretty steep hills. I was so proud of her. Alexis sang us her version of the story called "Going on a Bear Hunt". It was bliss! Then we made lunch together and walked Lily to school. Alexis and I went home and read "Going on a Bear Hunt". As soon as it was over, I told her she needed to close her eyes and go to sleep and when she woke up we would go get Lily. Just as her eyes closed, a cloud covered the sun and the room went dim so that she could easily fall asleep. (I'm not kidding - it was like someone dimmed the lights so she could get some much needed rest after the long day at the park). One of my favorite things to do is watch a small child in the action of falling asleep. It is like some force comes over them and they are peaceful and beautiful and... quiet. :) I laid beside Alexis thinking of the events of the day that far.... As I did, I felt that warmth and peace that comes when I allow myself to be still and listen. At that moment, I knew it couldn't all be for chance. I have long believed this way, but at this moment, it seemed like more than believing... more than faith. I just knew. I am here for something more. I am here to learn and feel and grow. I am here to be "refined" and polished. And at that quiet moment, I felt like Heaven wasn't as far away as it can sometimes seem.
I am thankful for these little experiences I have that remind me who I am, where I am going, and who I am meant to be. And for those days when I am being smoothed and perfected, when it is hard to remember who I am and why I am here, I hope to look back on this day and remember that this life is a joyous, wonderful, lovely, privilege that I chose. I hope to remember how very, truly blessed I am.